Study Dilemma

Has been quite some while since I write sth, be it in my diary or my blog...

Recently a depressed urge came out & its growing stronger day by day. Furthering my studies!

PSYCHOLOGY!!!

Yeah! Perhaps it's due to knowing friends around me furthering their studies - Thana, Mei Hui, Li Yean, Xue Loo, Sin Loong

Perhaps I saw the ad on UM's postgrad intake by Sept.

Perhaps, I've just attended UPM's convo, & wanted to attend another convo of my own

Perhaps, I've been thinking sub-consciously everyday!

Now, let's review how many dilemmas have I gone through:

1. Should I further my studies? YES
2. When should I further my studies? Now is the Best time!
3. IPTA or IPTS? I would like IPTS, however it's too dear (HELP)
4. If IPTA, will it be UM or UPM? Depending on the course, still waiting explanation from one of UPM's tutor - En Wan Marzuki
   
5. M'sia or NZ? I'd love the life in NZ, but commitments???
   

There it goes, in dilemma now. Yet, I did not let LS know about what's on my mind currently. He definitely do not want me to leave. My family would worry about my finance...

While me, as much as I want to take my bag & leave; I have these commitments to fulfill & make sure that it is still fulfilled while I'm away...

• Car Loan (after Iswara, Kancil)
  
• ING, GE, MNI Insurance premium
• Future housing loan
• Marriage in 2012
• Housing loan
• Spending for Ma
  

I need at least RM 1000 every month to maintain my needs. Yet, another RM 5000 to maintain my tertiary life there (including traveling expenses needed to explore & have fun)

While the above is in terms of financial, the rest in incalculable, such as:

• Time spend with LS, especially nearing marriage time (unless I could finish my course in 2 year's time, or I get an allowance to skip a few weeks of a semester)
• Deciding where to settle down after our marriage

So, which to choose? In times like this, how I wish that I am a rich man's daughter or some miracle would happen to me...

Haha, not a logical idea though, unless, UNLESS that in some way a miracle could really happen...

Some future company that needed my expertise want to sponsor me
I could have a secured job after I grad...