Quality of Life

Dharma is in every body.

Christians believe that when a child is born, he is as a piece of white paper. So pure. So beautiful. Which is true. No child is evil. Unless he photocopied it while growing up.

I am not trying to be one who cull people into another religion. As far as Buddhist are concern, we are not a believer. We understands ourself. One of the quality that we adore most is Freedom.

From my point of view & the lifestyle that I am leading now, I make sure that I don't regret in whatever decision I took & don't waste my time unnecessarily. If possible not even a minute. I vowed to myself ever since I achieved my goal of being independent.

Some of the ways that I viewed quality are:

• Reading in the car
• Bringing a book wherever I am
• Talk to someone & exchange info if I find myself in a serious situation
• Anticipate in local activities especially my interest-related
• Improve my skills during my leisure time
• One of the thing that I never fail to do is planning things ahead.

I do do things impromptu, yet I find planning to be the safer side of me.

Different people do view quality of life differently. Yet, as we can all be assure of, lifestyle of modern people have degraded immensely.

Yet, we couldn't blame anyone. One of the most important factor that changes our lifestyle immensely was technological advancement. When a new creation comes out, be it smple or complex, somehow or rather it affects our lifestyle. Whether in a speed of light or slow as a snail. Whether directly or indirectly. I have been affected as y mind knows it. Yet, my mental laziness prevents me from improving or moving forward spiritually. i know I have to practise meditation. I know I wanted to attend Dharma class. Yet, staying with a BF always comes into the way. Coz LS do not have an understanding for these things & feel that it is time-wasting. And I never explain it to him. I was ridden towards entertainment and pleasure of dating, wasting money & time...

People who have will power that read this blog will certainly scoff at me... What a weak girl! While writing this, I know that I'm getting lazier, drifting towards non-purpose of life... Lye song, I hope that you read this blog of mine...

Tips For Excellent Learning - Swimming

My first & foremost motto - "Going with the Flow"

That is the key.

Water is liquid. It has no shape, not solid, can't be hold nor can it be hurt.

How do you overcome or control something that has this stated characteristic?

Of course, you go with the flow...

One major attitude that applies in all sports is RELAX...

The moment you relax, you get focus easier. This can be seen significantly in swimming. Because the water is 'flexible', our body needs to be flexible too.

Stage one - learning how to hold breath in the water without fear. Fear is the one & only obstacle that obstruct our learning. Imagine, one going for bungee jumping, yet fear of falling. How could it be?!!

Stage two - as soon as you know how to get into the water without someone to push you to, we learn how to breath in the water. As breathing assists ones a lot in later drills, a correct technique helps tremendously.

Stage three - floating. This is another big leap to determine whether one can become a swimmer or not. Believe it or not, ones that become swimmer finds it easy to master all these basic techniques. They have no fear. On the other hand, they find this enjoying!

Stage four - push & glide off the wall. You are almost ready to swim like a fish!!!

What contains in all these steps? FLEXIBILITY! And going with the flow... All the key words in this article.

I am very sure that other sports contains this magical, simple word...

All the best to whoever is learning new things out there!!!

Why We Don't Have to Suffer Anymore?

I just reach home from one of the exciting Dharma talks conveyed by an enthusiastic speaker. He point out 7 points to take notes of. Yet, I only took out my mobile towards the end of the talk. As such, there are only 3 points that I could remember.

Of one point. He did speak on the difference of a man's feeling & reaction compared to a woman's feeling & reaction. He said that when a woman feels, she would use ALL her Brain to think & therefore becomes a deep thinker & multi tasks. Wherelse, a man would only uses half his brain to think & does things one at a time. Interesting, isn't it?

If you think you are suffering, you are! Everyone does! The minute you are born, there is the attachments of sufferings. There is no running away from this cycle of samsara. Like what my mom used to tell me, the minute a child is born, he uses money. From milk powder, napkins to toys. So true is the sentence unless we learn how to detach ourself from the strings of craving.

The tools to end suffering is to follow the Noble Eightfold Path. This made me realise & understand when one of the Dharma brother says that it's not easy to be reborn in a human realm. It is even difficult to have to chance to hear the Dharma. I used to wonder that's it's the same to hear Chistian's speech, Muslims & other religion's compared to Buddhism's. Wow, of what we have know is the littlest wisdom that has been known. How can I compare myself of those wise mans.

Helping others. The greatest joy that one can find is the bliss of helping others. We were born to make the Earth a better World. What do you think Michael Jackson sang his songs towards the end of his passing away? To create awareness in the need to help others!!!

Those were only short recap of what I have heard tonight. It is really a wonder that I'm such a spiritual woman. Buddhism is an understanding that I can perceive well, being closely connected to our daily lives' happenings. Unlike other religion that asks ones to believe blindly on faith which I find it difficult to accept. I am one of the type of person who would blindly believe on what others said. Yet, this do not happen to me when it comes to religion. Buddhism permits us to provoke them, the fact, what is spoken, the only religion that encourage us to ask questions & not to blindly believe. I guess this was one of the major reason that I have fallen into the trap of being the follower of this religion.

Indeed, I am a girl who adores my freedom very much. A typical Sagittarius.

Yet, of another reason why I stick to this religion was because of my race. I had believed that there IS a reason of why I had been born into a Chinese family, in Malacca. Most Chinese population were believers of Buddhism, so I think that I SHOULD. Not knowing that there were many Chinese of other religion as well. Which means, that I have Strongly believed in 'Law of Kamma' before knowing it's true meaning. Perhaps, what senior practitioner of Buddhism said was true. That I was a Buddhist & perhaps a meditator in my past life that I feel somewhat strong connection in my present believe & practise.

I know that I am far from achieving Nibbana. Yet, how seriously would I look upon meditation in this life? When would I get further from cycle of samsara? What purpose do people close to me in this life have to do with me? Well, those were not important questions in the eye of a Buddhist. I need to remind myself frequently as I am a day-dreamer. What's most important now is the present. And presently, I just realised that there are so many interesting topics that I could write relating to Buddhism!

Anger in Traffic Jams

We could suffice anger. I was on the verge of whether letting it go or let it arise. Indeed, I think too much of it that I let it arise. Upon reaching my destination, I let "it" out.

So loud & consistent was my shout that I broke the silence of the neighbourhood. I have just broken a minor precept yet strong, powerful tool towards Nibbana. My car is another stage towards it's doomsday... It's horn is now damaged - by me...

I banged into the steering & shouted my lung out. I did not realise that LS's mom was outside & she rushed out to check. "It was me", I answered.

My future mother-in-law must be thinking that I went into hysteria. I just could not accept being trapped into traffic jams! Not even once a day! Though I view myself as being highly adaptable to any kind of environment, life surrounded by jams isn't one of my options. So different compared to traffics in Malacca.

This has been my second time writing articles related to traffics. Public transports are unreliable, nor are cars. Motorcyles has the risk of being the worst outcomes in accidents, walking has it's own consequences of being robbed or being raped. Bicycles are being viewed as being one of the lower class caste. Why all the sufferings?

I have a fairly satisfying day. In the end, nothing is permanent. All things are subject to change. As my mood now, it was traffics in Klang made my day end unsatisfactoriness. I actually has just come back form a dharma talk. A very enjoyable evening indeed. My mind was full of views & thought I wanted to write, which I do not know which to prioritise. And in a sudden, I'm tired to arrange my mind into some form of interpretable article.

My main point here is to convey how anger can arise & suppress within our control. I'm already half my way to writing craps; just like how we speak without the knowledge of our mind when we are angry. Thanks to my mindfulness that I am quickly aware to the changing to my mood. Be it anger, disappointment, happiness etc. The changing mood of human being is the one that colour our homo-sapiens world. Too bad that most of the colour were conveyed in dark, ugly colours. Luckily, my world is of bright, soft colour of pastel ranges.

Choices is in our hands! You choose! Sadhu!

How I started - SWIMMING

I had the chance to learn swimming when my dad said that "It is important to know how to swim". Therefore, my mom was to send me to inquire about swimming lessons in our only public pool which is just 10 mins walk away from our house.

I was 9.5 years old at that time. We waited beside the pool in my purple swim suit with some frills at the side of my swim suit. I remembered feeling embarrassed being dressed that way, feeling quite naked.

After a few minutes' wait, my teacher came. She was a lady in her 60's, darkly tanned. I'm not sure whether I was afraid of water or how I behaved when I first started swimming. That was all that I remembered, perhaps I was feeling uneasy.

Uneasy I was, I remembered that the hind of my swim suit was torn due to my constant pulling it lower to cover my buttock. Haha, thereafter, I did change a lot of swim suits! Almost 10 I think, the one that was brought in the shop opposite our house, Sykt Tak Sin. Before changing to those quality ones.

The routine goes one till I was in my Std 5, when the swimming pool was closed for more than 1/2 a year for renovation. Haiz... I have grown fond of swimming & it was a method that my mom used to threaten me when I don't finish my homework before going for my lesson, at 5pm. I will be VERY "kang chong" to rush to the pool, which become a 5mins walk. Almost running. I ALWAYS try to be the FIRST to jump into the pool. After taking off my clothes in the toilet, straightaway RUN to THE POOL & jump in!!! YEAH!!!!

YEAAAHHHHH!!!

That was the most FUN Part! The second fun part come if I arrive early to the pool before the bell rings. The reason? The Playground! My favourite was the swing. I challenged myself on others too - monkey bars, a big bar structure which I climbed to the top, jongkang-jongket, hide & seek, basically everything that the playground offers.

Aunty's (my swimming teacher) skin was very smooth & soft in the water. I had a lot of body contact with her as she hold me when I was asked to swim out. I guess I lean to teach swimming from her, using the same technique. After learning for a year, stopping for almost a year & returning back to her, she never increase our swimming fees - RM 30 for twice a week's lesson. Even till my youngest sister's fees! How generous! The total duration of my learning swimming takes about 1.5 years if I remembered correctly...

Weird, since i love water, I stopped going to the swimming pool when I went into Form 1. I was afraid. Till my mom had to come to the school herself to meet the teacher in-charge of swimming & stated my name to be included if there is any competition. Haha, so embarrassing. Since I missed 1997's MSSM, I only started joining competition in Form 2. It was during these duration that I have 2 coaches that confuse me in my Freestyle. Aunty said that I should pull my hand this way while Mr Foo say it's another way. My freestyle became slower & I am always the 2nd last during competitions...

Starting in Form 4, I went for morning training which started at 5am under Mr Ng, while in the evening, normal swimming class under Mr Foo. These sporting life continued till I graduate my Secondary school. Again, I was inactive in my Form 6. Wasted, as I could still take part in competitions since I was still under 18 years old. Guess I don't like big crowds... Yet, I was sooo free in my Sixth Forms...

Journey continued & I start swimming again alone in UPM. Problem is the pool is always closed when I went. Under maintenance... I found that I've lost my stamina to swim long distance as we used to in trainings. So I swim short laps as the shallower pool is always crowded. However, when I became less busy in my studies & less activities in my college, I visited the pool more frequent. That was already my Third year. Till one day, the President of the Swimming Club noticed how well I swim & invited me to join their team as they were short of swimmers, especially ladies. There I agreed & suddenly became engrossed in swimming in my Final year. Following their training & competitions. My one & only swim suit, a dark blue Speedo served me throughout my Uni life...

That was my experimental year as I physically tried my body with different swim techniques. With Victor, Chun Cao, Kee Tzuen, Saiful & other team mates as my mentor. Thanks to them I have perfected my strokes tremendously, freestyle especially. I later improved other strokes by myself. True to say, that their presence had mean a lot to me & contributed in my learning. Physical, mental as well as attitude.

Traffic Jams!!!

Argh!!!!!

This is the part where stress comes in. Usually, I am a very calm person, I hardly fall into the trap of Deva Mara's delight. However, I always loses that quality when I'm stuck in traffic jams.

Previously, I have noted that I am always at peace once I pass the exit of Port Dickson. Even calmer when I enter Malacca boundary. One of the major reason is because of the traffic. Even when I'm at peak hour in Malacca town, we don't often experience heavy traffic that cause us to fall into "traffic depression"!

However, my emotion heaved heavily when I am in Selangor & KL, Klang being one of the place I hate!!! Very much!!! I used to thought that it was because of the workload I have to face when coming back. Yet, I just realized that the traffic here has affect my spiritual well-being enormously!!!

No peace, too much conflict, too much noise..... In conclusion, too much of everything!

I love a simple life, the simplest way to stay happy at all times...

Troublemaker

There the title goes! Suits my personality very well... What my parents told me was true right till the end of my lifetime!

Terrible that I do not know how to take care of my belongings. Just ystd, I spoil the antenna of Lye Song's car. Luckily the radio able to function well.

Coming to flashback the series of misfortune that fallen on me, it's IGNORANCE! Now I get the meaning of Buddha's teaching. These misfortunes happens to me due to my "care not" attitude. Take my hp for example... The many times I lost it, was because of my laziness to check even though I already sense sth amiss.

Last week I finished book on Metta meditation. As usual, the urge to practise Metta meditation came, however, I'm not sure how strong is my will this time. It sounds attrative in the beginning till the end.

However, I have noted that I am able to concentrate easier in my lotus sit. Amazingly, I can sit unmove for slightly more than an hour! (Not in totally quiet environment, listening to Dharma talk)

This achievement came suddenly to my realization, just like how I realize how I can type so fast & smoothly. What will be my next move, my next achievement?

Malacca, My Safe Haven

It certainly seems like I'm not a down-to-earth person. Always living in dreams, that is too good to make true.

I am currently staying & working in Klang. Yet, I wanted to stay & work in Klang after I conceive, especially when my children go to school.

Don't make sense right? I am already thinking of plans a decade ahead...

I have currently changed my schedule of going home fortnightly... This is where my hometown attract me back. I have grow fond of my birth place & is very comfortable staying there. Everytime I goes home, my mind is at peace. M'cca is really a place for me to de-stress...

I told Lye Song about my plan to go back M'cca after I retire, yet, he doesn't seem to agree with that. Though what he say is true, that by the time I grow old, I won't be having any friends in M'cca. Yet, my mind could not conceive these words when I hear it...

It wass due to my frequent home-going nowadays that I misses M'cca more. I can observe very strongly how my mood changes whenever I step into the border of S'gor. When I am in UPM, my mood are in another setting. The amount of stress is there, yet due to my enjoyment of my studies' life, I could cope with it.

When I step into Klang, the stress is conceivably stronger. While here, it was because of the presence of someone I love dearly...

When I agreed to work as a full-time swimming instructor with Aquasplash, I was thinking how long could I stay with this company... It seems that I'm the one who never settles down. Now my mind is already thinking of leaving M'sia to further study in NZ...

I wonder how could LS stay with Price Solution doing sales for nearly 3 years???
While I could only maintain my enthusiasm for only 3 months...

Am I a horrible person??

Study Dilemma

Has been quite some while since I write sth, be it in my diary or my blog...

Recently a depressed urge came out & its growing stronger day by day. Furthering my studies!

PSYCHOLOGY!!!

Yeah! Perhaps it's due to knowing friends around me furthering their studies - Thana, Mei Hui, Li Yean, Xue Loo, Sin Loong

Perhaps I saw the ad on UM's postgrad intake by Sept.

Perhaps, I've just attended UPM's convo, & wanted to attend another convo of my own

Perhaps, I've been thinking sub-consciously everyday!

Now, let's review how many dilemmas have I gone through:

1. Should I further my studies? YES
2. When should I further my studies? Now is the Best time!
3. IPTA or IPTS? I would like IPTS, however it's too dear (HELP)
4. If IPTA, will it be UM or UPM? Depending on the course, still waiting explanation from one of UPM's tutor - En Wan Marzuki
   
5. M'sia or NZ? I'd love the life in NZ, but commitments???
   

There it goes, in dilemma now. Yet, I did not let LS know about what's on my mind currently. He definitely do not want me to leave. My family would worry about my finance...

While me, as much as I want to take my bag & leave; I have these commitments to fulfill & make sure that it is still fulfilled while I'm away...

• Car Loan (after Iswara, Kancil)
  
• ING, GE, MNI Insurance premium
• Future housing loan
• Marriage in 2012
• Housing loan
• Spending for Ma
  

I need at least RM 1000 every month to maintain my needs. Yet, another RM 5000 to maintain my tertiary life there (including traveling expenses needed to explore & have fun)

While the above is in terms of financial, the rest in incalculable, such as:

• Time spend with LS, especially nearing marriage time (unless I could finish my course in 2 year's time, or I get an allowance to skip a few weeks of a semester)
• Deciding where to settle down after our marriage

So, which to choose? In times like this, how I wish that I am a rich man's daughter or some miracle would happen to me...

Haha, not a logical idea though, unless, UNLESS that in some way a miracle could really happen...

Some future company that needed my expertise want to sponsor me
I could have a secured job after I grad...