Mysterious Girl

I bet anyone who know me would say that I am a happy-go-lucky girl. Frank, sensible, love to laugh. Yet, I seem to be keeping away from the society. Always solitary. Alone. Even my Facebook's wall is blank with nobody comment.

Yet, I like it that way. Only that sometimes, I itch for someone to connect to. I seem to be the desperate housewife that expect others to read my mind.

And yes! I can be easily jealous at times! Often enough, I find myself telling myself to cool down. That's why I need to find my own purpose of life. The one that I have been thinking for 5 years now. Yet, never seem to find a fixed one of my own. Whenever I'm occupied, the thought is placed at the back of my mind. When not, I'll be depressed to find that I'm a hopeless, helpless girl.

I'm going for further study. Pursuing my once lost intention. I wanted to become a mental consultant. A spiritual health counsellor. I was inspired when I went for a talk organized bby HELP after Form 5 in Pay Fong High School. That poster had since been sellotaped in my room. Perhaps, it became a constant reminder of my sub-conscious to become a contributor to public. Every night before I lie down in my room, I'll brain-wash myself to become a confident girl, a strong & energetic women who can success in life.

After Form 6, I still had not reach the level of confidence that I vow to reach. I was still timid in making decision to take up Counselling Course as my degree. I'm not sure whether it's a correct choice. Because I like UPM. The environment that developed my independence, my time-management, going for my interest & of Lye Song I know. Yet, that is past.

Now, at age 25, after graduated 3 years, again, I made a choice. I cannot break my own promise. I don't want to feel regret not doing things that I hesitate doing. I have been giving advices to people encouraging them to pursue their dreams, even writes it in my diary to live each day its fullest. Yet, here I am not doing it?!! Can't let this happen!

GOSH, it's so dark now that it is raining! I better be offline now!