Mysterious Girl

I bet anyone who know me would say that I am a happy-go-lucky girl. Frank, sensible, love to laugh. Yet, I seem to be keeping away from the society. Always solitary. Alone. Even my Facebook's wall is blank with nobody comment.

Yet, I like it that way. Only that sometimes, I itch for someone to connect to. I seem to be the desperate housewife that expect others to read my mind.

And yes! I can be easily jealous at times! Often enough, I find myself telling myself to cool down. That's why I need to find my own purpose of life. The one that I have been thinking for 5 years now. Yet, never seem to find a fixed one of my own. Whenever I'm occupied, the thought is placed at the back of my mind. When not, I'll be depressed to find that I'm a hopeless, helpless girl.

I'm going for further study. Pursuing my once lost intention. I wanted to become a mental consultant. A spiritual health counsellor. I was inspired when I went for a talk organized bby HELP after Form 5 in Pay Fong High School. That poster had since been sellotaped in my room. Perhaps, it became a constant reminder of my sub-conscious to become a contributor to public. Every night before I lie down in my room, I'll brain-wash myself to become a confident girl, a strong & energetic women who can success in life.

After Form 6, I still had not reach the level of confidence that I vow to reach. I was still timid in making decision to take up Counselling Course as my degree. I'm not sure whether it's a correct choice. Because I like UPM. The environment that developed my independence, my time-management, going for my interest & of Lye Song I know. Yet, that is past.

Now, at age 25, after graduated 3 years, again, I made a choice. I cannot break my own promise. I don't want to feel regret not doing things that I hesitate doing. I have been giving advices to people encouraging them to pursue their dreams, even writes it in my diary to live each day its fullest. Yet, here I am not doing it?!! Can't let this happen!

GOSH, it's so dark now that it is raining! I better be offline now!

Swimming Day & Night

Now is December, we just started our school holiday swimming programme. Which means, I get into the pool twice a day - morning & evening.

Recently, I have been getting up quite early, my body clock now clicks at 7am. So, I go out of the house by 8am, reach Botanic to have half an hour swim before conducting my class at 9am. That is refreshing! I always like morning swim!

But the thing is, by after noon, I'm tired or have loads of things to do. Therefore, it's always a bit of reluctance to go back to Botanic again in the evenings. Especially now when it's rainy time...not sure whether I can claim my income for that evening or not...

I'm wearing my diving suit every day now. Morning - to protect myself from getting tanner. Evening - to prevent my body from being too cold. I'm now feeling heat, my nasal keep producing liquid & often sneeze. After consuming 2 tablet of Clarinase given by Lye Song & not getting better, I know that this is not normal runny nose. Though it states there to be taken every 12 hours, I took another one in just 5 hours between.

I slept early at 11pm last night. Due to my health condition, I woke up at 3am to blow out excessive liquid & can't get back to sleep. As usual, I time myself half an hour to fall asleep. When that fails, I'll find sth else to do. So, that's it! I got my attendance done, have a cup of milk & some tiny-miny stuff. By the time everytime settled, the clock shows 645am. Slept another hour before my alarm rings...

Now, I get worry on spending too much time in the water without wearing my diving suit. After an indicative experience, you bet! There has been a few time I felt so cold that I trembled. Yet the worse was even my fingers went numb after the trembling process. That really made me aware! On my food intake also...I went off hungry many, many times...

I try my best to make sure I eat enough protein, calcium, Vit C & iron during my lunch. As heavy as breakfast can be & as avoidable white flour I could. Still, there dizziness is there. Sometimes strong, other times weak.

This mid-morning, there was an uncle comment that I lose some weight. He preferred my previous figure. Anything. I just want to enjoy my swimming sessions, my schedules & my food!