Got 3rd Finger Today

My lecture was cancelled today... This has happened for me 3 times already... I reached UPM @ 1414 today and shortly after I received sms from Seng Fong & Yong Chin informing me that Prof Othman was sick, therefore lecture cancelled.

I took 15mins nap with 2 interruption - phone calls. Only when I woke up at 1430 I saw their message, took my lunch and finished at 3pm sharp. I was thinking of going to the library to finish up my Philosophy group asgm when I thought of Jenn Jye. He was at home! Thereafter, I went to his house and stayed there for slightly more than 1 hour. Managed to finish up to 13pages of my asgm though! Good! One page top up from the previous 12 pages. (I did 8 pages the night before & 2 additional pages in BRC)

Went swimming @ 1625 and done by 1720. Wanted to come up 5 mins earlier but I was so engrossed in my training! Being mindful gives me such bliss, happiness & peacefulness! WOW!

Today was my earlier home-going from UPM as Wan Mei finishes her lecture @ 1730. We reached Klang by 1845. Just on top of the 2nd flyover, I signaled to cut over to the other lane. When I was in the act of moving my car across, I saw a motorcycle and stay put in my lane.

THEN THE CURSE CAME! A young Malay man who was riding the motorcycle past by me and gave me his 3rd finger! I leaned forward and gave him back his sign language (in bodily language, sort of asking him back - "You showed me your 3rd finger???"). HE CONFIRMED that he gave me HIS 3rd finger by SHOWING ME that sign AGAIN!

Immediately, I WAS ON FIRE! After a split second, my conscious get over me and cool me down, telling me not to get angry. Instead, I should feel sorry for him that he could not control his own Anger! I was sympathized with the lady sitting behind him too. Being together with uncivilized human. Wan Mei saw that act too and asked what happened.

I keep on contemplating on my feeling even when I was walking Mylo about half an hour later. I couldn't bring myself not to be angry at him. Since I couldn't forgive him, I keep reminding myself to let go. The least I can to is to forgive myself. Ajahn Brahm's CD which I have listened for 5 times now was JIT! Couldn't have figured a better timing to have this kind of situation to happen to me!

Mindful Swim

I discovered meditation without realizing that it was meditation when I was in my teens, in secondary school years. Since then, I've been using meditation as a technique to help me fall into sleep easier. Though I do not suffer from any sleep disorder, nor have any sleep difficulties, I opt for lying meditation in the beginning.

Not till when I first joined Buddhism camp end of my 1st year in UPM - early 2005, only did I know that what I've been doing for the past 10 years is MEDITATION?!! 3 years later, a Buddhist meditator told me that I've been a practitioner in my past life before! Huh???

I was amazed by those words, but in time to prove again, there were a few other Buddhist Kalyana Mitra who told me the same thing too. Certainly, I could not doubt this matter anymore.

Same thing happened when I was so engrossed in my self-training of swimming in order to get the perfect Freestyle. Victor taught me the right hand technique in order to swim faster and beautifully. That was in my final year in UPM. Suddenly, I have that strong will to improve myself and commit at least an hour daily in swimming pool. Just after a couple of practice on my own, I not only did get my stroke correct, but could focus on my breathing and all my actions as well.

A few years after graduating, I attended a Dhamma talk on mindfulness in daily activities. Suddenly, it struck me that again I was already being mindful in my swimming activity without being told. I even send Metta to Alvin at that time while doing the laps to keep my mind focus.

These 2 happenings further inspired me to watch my mindfulness at all times, especially while driving as I'm often on the road. Currently being mindful comes more easy as it slowly become my daily habit. Yet, I'm not satisfied with my own sitting meditation as often I have a lot of thoughts coming into my mind. Else, I'd be so tired that I fell asleep while meditating.

For those out there who happens to read this blog, I'd advise you to be mindful in simple things first, such as walking, eating, peeing, washing hands or dishes, driving etc. Someday, you'll find insight in your activities!

May all sentient beings be well, happy and peaceful!

SADHU!

Introduction

I was born and raised in Malacca since 19 December 1984. Having born into conservative parents, naturally, I was not exposed much to the world out of my routine daily activities. Not until I gained the freedom to decide how much time I’d like to allocate in activities I participated during my university’s life that added some sparkles into my life.

The eldest among 4 sisters, I resembled a lot of my father’s stubbornness, eager to learn, always wanted to win and have a quick temper. However, I was very much attracted to the word “Psychology” and ‘Counselling” when I went to a seminar after Form 5 related to divergent courses that was offered by a college.

These two words have been haunting my sub-conscious mind ever since, though I did not give a hard thought during that time. Life went on as usual with school activities, studies and examinations. Not until I got my STPM result that we were all forced to make a choice of career that one would like to be after Degree course that I begin to weight the choices I’d like to make with Psychology or Counselling, or some other subjects that don’t relate much to human behaviour.

The biggest barrier was from my idealistic father who doesn’t encourage the study of human science at all. During that naïve period of me who do not know how to gather more information in this area or sought more ideas on career path of Psychology or Counselling, therefore, things were left to be. I choose a course in Business Administration.

Hope does not dampen in me for things I have not yet achieve. All the moment, I wanted to put the blame on my father for my unachieved ambition. Yet, deep down, I do know that if I do not take action to change and pursue my dreams now, it’ll forever remain unchanged. I will not tolerate the devil in me to blame my cowardliness. Upon acting on instinct, I determined to sign up Master Programme in Counselling end of year 2009.